Soldout Profiles

Sex and drugs and rock and roll… it was his past, and now he just talks about it… the spiky-haired feral of ferals dominates the comedy scene with insightful observations of extreme bad taste. Women want him, men want to stab him. Had it not been for his penchant for society's seediest pursuits, he would have had made a million in hair-product endorsements. Believes that lying, cheating, stealing, corrupting and manipulating are only bad if you can't do them properly. Typical Taurean. Will nude up for beer… if it's artistically valid. Has trouble understanding the word "boat".

Handsome... intelligent... charming... these are just some of the words that Barry has read in the Dictionary. A school teacher by day, Barry finds it a smooth transition from teaching teenagers to performing comedy for drunken adults. With the approach of "as long as no one gets stabbed", Barry sets his sights lower than the Australian dollar. Turn ons include: Jennifer, reading, cooking, boxing, the Middle East. Turn offs include: communists, disorganisation, communists, Whoopie Goldberg, communists, lateness, communists.

When it comes to comedy, he's said it himself - he can really read a room. As Team Barry described this romantic-new-ager; "If his degrading-to-women stuff doesn't work he can go into his lesbian jokes. Then if that doesn't work he can go into his sexist material. And if that doesn't work he can go into his stuff that's offensive to women. And to top it all off if he needs he can go into his misogynist stuff. He's got it all covered." The ideal figurehead to spur feminism into the 21st Century… with his clever "reverse psychology".

The nice guy of comedy. The eligible bachelor of comedy. Cypress Phil doesn't believe that you need to be smutty or degrading to be funny… so he only gets smutty or degrading for personal reasons. Combining the boy-band-meet-your-parents broad appeal with the affability of the Wiggles, Phil meanders through the meaningful, touches on the poignant, entrances with the sensitive, all the while thinking "gutter". Nonetheless, his place in heaven is assured… he made the downpayment with his generous redundancy payout from capitalism at it's best.

The sultry siren of SoldOut, Vicky has always believed that the songwriters of the modern age got all their original lyrics wrong, and has made it her life's quest to correct these oversights. Her singing voice captivates, her beauty intimidates, and her personality terrifies. She leaves audience doubled-over, begging for more. Hates men as a species, but not above using them for sport. A loving mother and a fearsome wrestler, Vicky dreams of one day writing a joke that doesn't involve sex. Our hopes and prayers are with her.

An officer and a gentlemen through-and-through, James Bo is also a sensational actor, hence these qualities are always well hidden. The man's man, and the woman's plaything, Jimbo also dreams of Vicky B one day writing a joke that doesn't involve sex, so he won't have to. A Melbourne Comedy Festival and touring veteran, he has gagged on throughout the four corners of the country, spreading his seed along the way. Once every censorship law is waived, he'll dominate media in all its forms. Beware the room-closing "Jap Flap Gag"!

They say that cats toy with their prey, seeming all slinky and affectionate one moment, with claws out the next. The pounce often occurs before the prey can react. Let's make that "Kats". Schoolgirl one minute, vixen the next, with a touch of arsenic on the side. Not worried about choosing topics that are popular or taboo, she can get downright nasty. But that can be attributed to an artist's temperament forced to slum it with society's dregs. Hopes to release her own range of Tarot cards with every card marked as "Death".

The elder statesman of SoldOut, Pete doesn't let his copious experience and wisdom stop him from stamping down his younger proteges' hopes and dreams of making it in the biz. He considers "uneducated moron" a term of affection, but rarely uses it, thinking that many syllables wouldn't patronise enough. Few people are so firmly entrenched or popular on the Sydney comedy scene as Pete, but audiences around the traps can and will sing along with his mesmerising routines. Founder of the Glenn Midori Appreciation Society & Tribute Band.

Every now and then, a covert assignment comes in that requires the services of a special man… a man who'll nude up for the cause, a man who'll hide in a fridge for two-and-a-half-hours just for the opportunity to leap out yelling "Frostbite!", a man who'll plan and execute a practical joke on a fellow prop-comic over the course of two years just to elicit the satisfactory reaction, a man who'll combine the cerebral and bizarre, a man who'll chuck a browneye at a party… Greeny is that man! His work can be seen on the finest video clip shows

A class chick who would make the average tradesman's ears burn as soon as she opens her mouth. Shazza is not the least bit afraid to say what she's thinking on any of her favourite topics: sex, boosies, men, dating. This piano playing dialect genius is essentially the standup's "Dr Ruth" for a whole new generation. Deep down she's a sweetheart looking to set up all her friends in relationships... so she can watch with her binoculars. Underneath that blonde hair hides a sharp wit and intelligence. She hides it well.

"For reasons of the state, Black becomes white, white becomes black the horrible becomes the humane and the most dastardly felonies and atrocious crimes become meritorious acts!"

Matt has got to be one of the most moist, cuddly men in standup comedy today. The fact that he leaves the audience wanting more, and wanting umbrellas is probably the reason why he always takes to the stage armed in one way or another. A man of at least half-a-dozen faces, there is no trick, stunt, or caper that Matt won't pull at least once. Voted at school "the boy most likely to lock himself in a fridge", he has exceeded that expectation manyfold. Also known to give unsolicited massages to audience members.

Actor. Poet. Junkyard philosopher. Whilst passing under the pretence of being all of these and more, DarkSide really is just a violent, abusive, and bitter archetype of the "angry young man". Never happy if he's happy, DarkSide best suits his brand of comedy if he leaves the stage more damaged than how he entered it… going for both himself and the stage. Considers practical demonstrations of bleeding and concussion to be "material". Nonetheless, a preacher at the pulpit of the common man, and a real sweety with kids and animals… though by law not allowed to work with either.

Sweet. Innocent. Friendly. Harmless. That's right - Michelle Reardon is an accomplished actor. With an appearance that would be at home in "Woman's Weekly", and a demeanour that would be at home in "Discipline Monthly", Michelle's living is her voice, which she can often use to tell people where to go. She has sidled up to greatness, wined and dined with it, kicked it in the shins and stolen its car keys. Reardon is an anomaly of the standup circuit due to the fact she is married, employed, and recipient of regular sex. FREAK! Impressive swearword vocabulary.

The "Raph-Man" of comedy gets out there and spills it with extreme prejudice. It's quite clear that the stage is just an outlet for a burgeoning sex-appeal, allowing the women of the audience to gain a glimpse - and he's not above letting them touch either. Forever the man's man, he regales the crowd with stories of fighting, womanising, and interior decorating. Sylvin, aka "Silvio", aka "Raphael", aka "Prisoner 7415-65B" is one of the last remaining men who can and will wear short shorts. Marinate in his charm before he barbeques you with his wit. Over easy.

Mick is a raconteur and "bon vivant". His favourite pastime is beer, and he finds he can pass a lot of time. Ever in pursuit of becoming a superhero, under the covert disguise of a professional clown, Mick combines all the most admirable features of Elvis, Jack Nicholson, and the Simpson family (Yellow skin excluded). His stage presence is undeniable - when he's on stage, he's present. Raffish charm belying a subtle intellect, there's no audience he can't win over with money. A top sort. Not to be taken internally.

The human ghetto-blaster of Sydney comedy, Holt is so permanantly wired-up that if you slit this man's wrists, five varieties of artificial stimulants will flow out in place of the blood he once had. Jonas' stage act combines rock'n'roll, freaky characters, athleticism, and extreme volume. Quite possibly Sydney's most innovative and experimental comic, he's also got to be one of the most impressive to witness… albeit he has been known to kill and eat witnesses. "Yo yo yo! He's da' lyrical gangsta wit' da' fattest grooves, and he ain't no sucker DJ - word!" Works on a stud farm by day.

You know you've probably had too much to drink when you wake up and you're Glenn Midori. Glenn, the Waffle King, is a versatile performer, equally at home with roles of the lovable, huggable teddy-bear type, or the pissed fart in a bar telling strangers what he thinks of them, chatting up a bathroom mirror, and spewing on the only solitary carpet-tile in the entire venue. The (wanted) poster-boy for bikers everywhere. President of the Pete Meisel fan club. Stunt-driver to the stars, and professional narcoleptic.


	Vicky & Judas' Bday \| Quote Unquote \| Cross Chat \| Bits'n'Pieces \| Darksides' Domain \| Is That You? \| Production Pix \| Feral Comedy \| Poetry \| Wetman Attacks \| Soldout Profiles Soldout Profiles Judas Falling SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS PRODUCER "Learn. Adapt. Evolve." Sex and drugs and rock and roll… it was his past, and now he just talks about it… the spiky-haired feral of ferals dominates the comedy scene with insightful observations of extreme bad taste. Women want him, men want to stab him. Had it not been for his penchant for society's seediest pursuits, he would have had made a million in hair-product endorsements. Believes that lying, cheating, stealing, corrupting and manipulating are only bad if you can't do them properly. Typical Taurean. Will nude up for beer… if it's artistically valid. Has trouble understanding the word "boat". Team Barry SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS HEAD WRITER "Patience is a waste of time!" Handsome... intelligent... charming... these are just some of the words that Barry has read in the Dictionary. A school teacher by day, Barry finds it a smooth transition from teaching teenagers to performing comedy for drunken adults. With the approach of "as long as no one gets stabbed", Barry sets his sights lower than the Australian dollar. Turn ons include: Jennifer, reading, cooking, boxing, the Middle East. Turn offs include: communists, disorganisation, communists, Whoopie Goldberg, communists, lateness, communists. The Funny Guy SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS DIRECTOR When it comes to comedy, he's said it himself - he can really read a room. As Team Barry described this romantic-new-ager; "If his degrading-to-women stuff doesn't work he can go into his lesbian jokes. Then if that doesn't work he can go into his sexist material. And if that doesn't work he can go into his stuff that's offensive to women. And to top it all off if he needs he can go into his misogynist stuff. He's got it all covered." The ideal figurehead to spur feminism into the 21st Century… with his clever "reverse psychology". Cypress Phil SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS EXECUTIVE PRODUCER "In business, the two most important qualities are honesty and integrity. I believe I can fake both." The nice guy of comedy. The eligible bachelor of comedy. Cypress Phil doesn't believe that you need to be smutty or degrading to be funny… so he only gets smutty or degrading for personal reasons. Combining the boy-band-meet-your-parents broad appeal with the affability of the Wiggles, Phil meanders through the meaningful, touches on the poignant, entrances with the sensitive, all the while thinking "gutter". Nonetheless, his place in heaven is assured… he made the downpayment with his generous redundancy payout from capitalism at it's best. Miss Vicky B SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS STAR "Thank god her sexiness equals her moodiness!" The sultry siren of SoldOut, Vicky has always believed that the songwriters of the modern age got all their original lyrics wrong, and has made it her life's quest to correct these oversights. Her singing voice captivates, her beauty intimidates, and her personality terrifies. She leaves audience doubled-over, begging for more. Hates men as a species, but not above using them for sport. A loving mother and a fearsome wrestler, Vicky dreams of one day writing a joke that doesn't involve sex. Our hopes and prayers are with her. Jimbo SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS STAR "Jimbo's ideal day: Sleeping in, eating, and then spraying the back of few uterus'." An officer and a gentlemen through-and-through, James Bo is also a sensational actor, hence these qualities are always well hidden. The man's man, and the woman's plaything, Jimbo also dreams of Vicky B one day writing a joke that doesn't involve sex, so he won't have to. A Melbourne Comedy Festival and touring veteran, he has gagged on throughout the four corners of the country, spreading his seed along the way. Once every censorship law is waived, he'll dominate media in all its forms. Beware the room-closing "Jap Flap Gag"! Kat SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS GRAPHIC ARTIST "If you can't be good, at least be good at it." They say that cats toy with their prey, seeming all slinky and affectionate one moment, with claws out the next. The pounce often occurs before the prey can react. Let's make that "Kats". Schoolgirl one minute, vixen the next, with a touch of arsenic on the side. Not worried about choosing topics that are popular or taboo, she can get downright nasty. But that can be attributed to an artist's temperament forced to slum it with society's dregs. Hopes to release her own range of Tarot cards with every card marked as "Death". Pete Meisel SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS WRITER "What's good gets worse. But what's bad also gets worse." The elder statesman of SoldOut, Pete doesn't let his copious experience and wisdom stop him from stamping down his younger proteges' hopes and dreams of making it in the biz. He considers "uneducated moron" a term of affection, but rarely uses it, thinking that many syllables wouldn't patronise enough. Few people are so firmly entrenched or popular on the Sydney comedy scene as Pete, but audiences around the traps can and will sing along with his mesmerising routines. Founder of the Glenn Midori Appreciation Society & Tribute Band. Peter Green SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS WRITER Every now and then, a covert assignment comes in that requires the services of a special man… a man who'll nude up for the cause, a man who'll hide in a fridge for two-and-a-half-hours just for the opportunity to leap out yelling "Frostbite!", a man who'll plan and execute a practical joke on a fellow prop-comic over the course of two years just to elicit the satisfactory reaction, a man who'll combine the cerebral and bizarre, a man who'll chuck a browneye at a party… Greeny is that man! His work can be seen on the finest video clip shows Shazza SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS WRITER "That intelligent, vivacious, uncanny blonde with the big knockers!" A class chick who would make the average tradesman's ears burn as soon as she opens her mouth. Shazza is not the least bit afraid to say what she's thinking on any of her favourite topics: sex, boosies, men, dating. This piano playing dialect genius is essentially the standup's "Dr Ruth" for a whole new generation. Deep down she's a sweetheart looking to set up all her friends in relationships... so she can watch with her binoculars. Underneath that blonde hair hides a sharp wit and intelligence. She hides it well. Matt Grey SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS WRITER "For reasons of the state, Black becomes white, white becomes black the horrible becomes the humane and the most dastardly felonies and atrocious crimes become meritorious acts!" Matt has got to be one of the most moist, cuddly men in standup comedy today. The fact that he leaves the audience wanting more, and wanting umbrellas is probably the reason why he always takes to the stage armed in one way or another. A man of at least half-a-dozen faces, there is no trick, stunt, or caper that Matt won't pull at least once. Voted at school "the boy most likely to lock himself in a fridge", he has exceeded that expectation manyfold. Also known to give unsolicited massages to audience members. The Darkside SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS WRITER "Finding the insidious in the obvious!" Actor. Poet. Junkyard philosopher. Whilst passing under the pretence of being all of these and more, DarkSide really is just a violent, abusive, and bitter archetype of the "angry young man". Never happy if he's happy, DarkSide best suits his brand of comedy if he leaves the stage more damaged than how he entered it… going for both himself and the stage. Considers practical demonstrations of bleeding and concussion to be "material". Nonetheless, a preacher at the pulpit of the common man, and a real sweety with kids and animals… though by law not allowed to work with either. Michelle Reardon SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS WRITER Sweet. Innocent. Friendly. Harmless. That's right - Michelle Reardon is an accomplished actor. With an appearance that would be at home in "Woman's Weekly", and a demeanour that would be at home in "Discipline Monthly", Michelle's living is her voice, which she can often use to tell people where to go. She has sidled up to greatness, wined and dined with it, kicked it in the shins and stolen its car keys. Reardon is an anomaly of the standup circuit due to the fact she is married, employed, and recipient of regular sex. FREAK! Impressive swearword vocabulary. Sylvin Caetan SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS WRITER The "Raph-Man" of comedy gets out there and spills it with extreme prejudice. It's quite clear that the stage is just an outlet for a burgeoning sex-appeal, allowing the women of the audience to gain a glimpse - and he's not above letting them touch either. Forever the man's man, he regales the crowd with stories of fighting, womanising, and interior decorating. Sylvin, aka "Silvio", aka "Raphael", aka "Prisoner 7415-65B" is one of the last remaining men who can and will wear short shorts. Marinate in his charm before he barbeques you with his wit. Over easy. Mick Meredith SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS WRITER "Comedian, clown, magician, stay @ home dad, WEIRDO." Mick is a raconteur and "bon vivant". His favourite pastime is beer, and he finds he can pass a lot of time. Ever in pursuit of becoming a superhero, under the covert disguise of a professional clown, Mick combines all the most admirable features of Elvis, Jack Nicholson, and the Simpson family (Yellow skin excluded). His stage presence is undeniable - when he's on stage, he's present. Raffish charm belying a subtle intellect, there's no audience he can't win over with money. A top sort. Not to be taken internally. Jonas Holt SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS WRITER The human ghetto-blaster of Sydney comedy, Holt is so permanantly wired-up that if you slit this man's wrists, five varieties of artificial stimulants will flow out in place of the blood he once had. Jonas' stage act combines rock'n'roll, freaky characters, athleticism, and extreme volume. Quite possibly Sydney's most innovative and experimental comic, he's also got to be one of the most impressive to witness… albeit he has been known to kill and eat witnesses. "Yo yo yo! He's da' lyrical gangsta wit' da' fattest grooves, and he ain't no sucker DJ - word!" Works on a stud farm by day. Glenn Midori SOLDOUT PRODUCTIONS WEB ARCHITECT aps smarter than you!" "As a wise man once said, I'm heaps smarter than you!" You know you've probably had too much to drink when you wake up and you're Glenn Midori. Glenn, the Waffle King, is a versatile performer, equally at home with roles of the lovable, huggable teddy-bear type, or the pissed fart in a bar telling strangers what he thinks of them, chatting up a bathroom mirror, and spewing on the only solitary carpet-tile in the entire venue. The (wanted) poster-boy for bikers everywhere. President of the Pete Meisel fan club. Stunt-driver to the stars, and professional narcoleptic. The Soldout Posse Norma & Bec Drew & Kat Justyn Field Karl Emmett Bec Sykes